Sibling Rivalry is a common scenario
in almost every home. Arguments and fights are everyday occurrences
amongst brothers and sisters – to the extent that arguments
often lead to physical fighting.
This kind of response is very much against the disposition of a
noble person, let alone a Muslim.
We need to learn to implement the noble character of Rasulullah
(sallallahu alaihi wasallam) in our dealings with all – including
siblings. It must not be that “we give as good as we get”;
rather we overlook, forgive and show to them, beautiful, dignified
If we have knowledge of Deen, then this is the setting which tests
our practical expression of that ilm (knowledge) and akhlaaq (character).
We either give into nafs and Shaytaan and show our brothers, sisters
and parents that we are like cats and dogs fighting – and
are closer to being animals than humans, or we rise above the indiscretions
of our family members, adopting noble character and speech, and
practicing on the ayat:
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal.
Repel (the evil) with that which is better (to be patient, forgive,
etc.), then verily, he between whom and you there was enmity, (will
become) as though he was a close friend.”
[Surah Fussilaat 41: 34]
Rasulullah(sallallahu alaihi wasallam) had set a beautiful and
perfect precedent in teaching and moulding his two grandsons, Hasan
and Husain(radiyallahu anhum).
Rasulullah(sallallahu alaihi wasallam)taught them to respect
and love each other. He taught them that the younger
of them should serve the elder, due to the elder sibling deserving
respect. …Khidmat (serving) naturally creates muhabbat(love)
and how perfect a prescription this is for all brothers and sisters,
in so far as creating a peaceful and happy environment at home.
This is why we find in the lives of these two grandsons, that Hazrat
Husain (radiyallahu anhu) used to respect Hazrat Hasan(radiyallahu
anhu) and even carry out his requests willingly.
Of course, in the light of the above, the older brother or sister
should not think that he or she can just demand, dictate and nag.
If we are older, we have a responsibility to set an example, worthy
of our siblings to follow. There has to be courtesy, mercy,
compassion and love for the younger siblings.A balance needs to
be created – where there is humility on both sides.SayyidinaHasan(radiyallahu
anhu) showed great love and compassion for Sayyidina Husain (radiyallahu
If either one has to advise the other with regard to something
– for example, food, clothing, room, studies, salaah, etc.
then it should be said once only and politely.
Thereafter, leave it to the parents or teachers to solve the problem.
If every sibling were to emulate the grandsons of Rasulullah (sallallahu
alaihi wasallam), then there would be no bickering, quarreling and
fighting. Home will be a haven and all parents will be at peace
– with no complaints against their children.
May Allah Ta’ala grant us all the understanding and the taufeeq