There was once a man called Nasooh. Although a man, but his outward form and voice was like that of a woman. In the King's palaces, he was appointed to wash the ladies and daughters of the King and to cleanse them. He always used to dress in woman's clothing and was accepted as a maid servant and worker.
Because he was a man and had all the lustful passions of a man, he used, to enjoy all these passions and desires while massaging and washing the ladies of the King's household. On various occasions he repented of his acts and lifestyle, but soon after, his 'self' used to coerce him into breaking his towbah. One day he heard that a certain holy man had arrived and he also went to meet him. He went into the presence of the holy man and asked him to also remember him in his prayers. The saintly man made duah.
"The duah of the holy man reached above the seven heavens.
And through that Nasooh was successful.
The Lord of Glory and Honour created a means for his salvation"
It so happened that Nasooh and all the other female servants had to be searched. In the female section of the King's palace, a very precious and costly pearl was lost. The door to the female section of the house was closed and the search began. When the pearl was not found, an announcement was made:
"That all the maid servants should become undressed, Whether they were young maidens or old women ".
As he heard this announcement, Nasooh started trembling, as he was in actual fact a man, who for a long time had been acting as a woman, with no one knowing about it. The thought went through his mind: "Today I am going to be disgraced. The King will surely out of his sense of honour and shame, take revenge upon me. That means he will punish me with death. My crime is a very serious one.
"Out of fear, Nasooh went into privacy.
His face became pale, his lips turned blue from fear.
Nasooh saw death in front of his eyes
And shaking like a leaf, he fell down into prostration.
He said: O Lord, many times have I chosen the wrong path.
Many times did I repent and many times did I break my repentance.
O Lord, do that which is suitable for Your High Rank.
For from every hole, snakes are biting me.
If the search for the pearl passes the servants and reaches me,
Then how great will be the calamity that will befall me?
This time cover me up O! Allah. I seek forgiveness and repent
From every improper act of mine. "
Nasooh was talking to Allah thus and said:
"O, my Lord, in my heart numerous flames of sorrow are burning
And You see the blood of my liver in my supplication to You.
And see in which state of destitution and pain I pray to You".
Nasooh was busy crying before Allah in this manner when he heard a voice saying to him: "All have been searched. O Nasooh, come forward and undress, that
we may search you ".
As Nasooh heard this announcement he realised, by becoming undressed his secret will be exposed. He was so struck by fear that he fell down unconscious and his soul started flying about in the celestial regions. His soul went near to Allah while he was unconscious. At that time the mercy of Allah started boiling and through the command of Allah the pearl was found, before Nasooh could be searched. This saved Nasooh from any humiliation and disgrace.
Nasooh regained consciousness and his eyes appeared much more enlightened than before. In other words, while he was unconscious, the mercy of Allah caused his soul to experience the nearness of Allah and the light shining in his eyes was from that experience.
The ladies of the King's household came to him and apologised to him and in soft terms begged his pardon for having had suspicions about him. They said: "Pardon our suspicions. We are sorry for having caused you so much trouble. We had a wrong suspicion about you and have in our conversation back-bited you. Pardon us".
"This is the grace of God upon me, O0 my benefactors.
Whatever was said about me, I am worse than that".
Thereafter one of the King's daughters asked him to bath her. Nasooh had repented and promised to lead a life of righteousness. He had during his unconscious state reached a high place of nearness with Allah. How could he after such contact with Allah and after attaining such Yaqeen in Allah, return to the darkness of sin. He realised that darkness after light was deplorable. He told the King's daughter:
"O daughter, now the strength of my hand has gone,
And I have become indisposed."
In this manner, he saved himself from further sin.
Thereafter he said to himself:
"My crime and fault has proceeded beyond the limit.
How can the fear and sorrow ever leave my heart?
I have made true repentance to my Lord, which I will never break
Even though my life should separate from my body".
Lesson from this Story
From this story the following points of advise are extracted:
1. One should never lose hope over his evil deeds. The Mercy of Allah is powerful enough to bring about rectification in all cases.
2. One should also seek the duahs of the saintly ones, just as Nasooh did. He was successful in his request.
3. In this story there is a great lesson in how at the time of extreme emergency, Nasooh turned to Allah and how he cried lamentfully before Him in dire circumstances.
4. We also see how Nasooh spent a large part of his life in sin. This was a very dangerous situation but Allah in His Mercy, arranged a way out for him, by creating a way towards guidance and granted him the ability to make true and sincere towbah. Then the rank of his towbah, which appears in the last couplet, contains a great lesson for repenters. Nasooh promised that even if it should mean his death, he will not break his towbah.
Subhaanallah! What a great promise from Allah's sincere servant, that even if life should be removed from his body, yet he will not in future break his towbah. This is something which points to great rank, great courage and great ambitious nature. May Allah grant us all such towbah and may He guide us to that which He loves and to what pleases Him.