When Spouses Curse
by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullah ‘alayh)

A husband complained that he was always angry with his wife, and they continuously argued.

There are so many such cases: If it is not the husband complaining of his wife, it is the wife complaining of her husband.

In this case, having been informed of the weaknesses of his wife, which are common to other women as well, I said: ‘I agree with you that there are weaknesses in women. However, there are also weaknesses in men. Moreover, your anger is for worldly reasons. You are cursing your wife and inviting that same curse upon yourself…’

I then explained to him:‘When you curse your wife on her defiance, non-compliance, or indifference to your rights, then Allah Ta’ala’s Azab (punishment) descends upon her. When that punishment reaches her, she will not be the only one who will suffer. As her husband, you, too, will suffer. If she is afflicted with illness or has an accident, the burden of expense falls upon you as the husband. You will have to take care of her and; will also find difficulty in that she will not be able to see to you and the children, the maintenance of the home, etc. And if she has to curse you, she too will find herself in a situation of trial and difficulty…’

Some women have the bad habit of cursing their husbands and children, generally due to impatience or frustration. Instead of turning to Allah Ta’ala and making Du’a, they utter such words, which sometimes find acceptance in the heavens, but become a source of great regret.

Due to this tendency of cursing and being ungrateful to spouses, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) directed women towards giving charity and seeking forgiveness.

Thus, when Allah Ta’ala punishes the husband or the child, the wife or mother is left lamenting her plight.

It may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts her curse, and in a fit of anger, the husband divorces the wife. He loses his wife and children, and she is left in dire circumstances as a divorcee, or it may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts the curse, and as such, his entire business collapses. The husband, the wife who cursed, and the children now have to live in poverty.

There are so many ways that curses are Divinely accepted.

Alhamdulillah, the husband explained the above to his wife, and they both agreed that arguing and cursing was not the solution. 

Arguments cause great satisfaction and joy to Shaytan, whose great effort is to destroy marriages. Arguments indicate Shaytan’s presence in our homes. It is the stepping stone to enmity between husband and wife and can quickly end up with divorce, a broken home and many other problems.

Who does not want a happy marriage? Who does not wish for Sukoon (tranquillity) in marriage? 

However, to achieve this, some effort has to be made. We have to train ourselves to adopt Hilm (tolerance) and Sabr (patience), and we need to learn to curb the tendency to argue and fight – which is otherwise common even for the pettiest reasons.

There would be peace, tranquillity, and many arguments would not even surface if we keep before us the following Hadith of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and we have Yaqin and conviction in it:

“I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise to the one who forsakes argument even when he is in the right.” [1] 

[1] Abu Dawud