Sibling Rivalry
by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullah ‘alayh)
Sibling Rivalry is a common scenario in almost every home. Arguments and fights are everyday occurrences amongst brothers and sisters —to the extent that arguments often lead to physical fighting.
This kind of response is very much against the disposition of a noble person, let alone a Muslim.
We need to learn to implement the noble character of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) in our dealings with all —including siblings. It must not be that “we give good as we get”. Instead, we should overlook, forgive, and show them beautiful, dignified conduct.
If we have the knowledge of Deen, then this is the setting that tests our practical expression of that Ilm (knowledge) and Akhlaq (character). We either give into Nafs and Shaytan and show our brothers, sisters and parents that we are like cats and dogs fighting – and are closer to being animals than humans, or we rise above the indiscretions of our family members by adopting noble character and speech and practising on the ayah:
“Good and evil are not equal. Repel (evil) with what is best, and you will see that the one you had mutual enmity with him will turn as if he were a close friend.
[Surah Fussilat 41: 34]
Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) had set a beautiful and perfect precedent in teaching and moulding his two grandsons, Hasan and Husain (radiyallahu ‘anhum).
Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) taught them to love and respect each other. He taught them that the younger should serve the elder because the elder sibling deserves respect. Khidmah (serving) naturally creates Muhabbat (love), and how perfect a prescription this is for all brothers and sisters in creating a peaceful and happy environment at home.
This is why we find in the lives of these two grandsons that Hazrat Husain (radiyallahu anhu) used to respect Hazrat Hasan (radiyallahu anhu) and even carried out his requests willingly.
Of course, in light of the above, the older brother or sister should not think that he or she can demand, dictate and nag.
If we are older, we are responsible for setting an example worthy of our siblings to follow. There has to be courtesy, mercy, compassion and love for the younger siblings. A balance needs to be created – where there is humility on both sides. Sayyiduna Hasan (radiyallahu ‘anhu) showed great love and compassion for Sayyudina Husayn (radiyallahu ‘anhu).
If either one has to advise the other about something – for example, food, clothing, room, studies, Salah, etc., it should be said only once and politely. After that, leave it to the parents or teachers to solve the problem.
If every sibling were to emulate the grandsons of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), then there would be no bickering, quarrelling and fighting. Home will be a haven, and all parents will be at peace – with no complaints against their children.
May Allah Ta’ala grant us all the understanding and the Taufiq (ability) of practising, Aameen.